Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Shout-Out: To the MOON, Alice, to the Moon!

In the "been there, done that", department (not really...)

The best of craigs-list (as voted by readers...) shows THIS gem of an ad:
(emphasis MINE!)

Astronaut Needed

Date: 2009-09-14, 3:43AM
Astronaut needed for experimental flight to Titan*. I have been working on this project now for near 40 years and am afraid I'm no longer fit enough to go.

My secret space craft is the result of my professional experience and imagination while serving the U.S. military in advanced aeronautics as a scientist.

The craft harnesses a revolutionary propulsion system and its fuselage is fabricated with the most advanced material. While considerably safe, I am certain you will make it safely to
Titan but there will not be enough fuel to get home.
This is for someone unique that has always wanted to see the universe
first-hand and has perhaps a terminal view on life here at home.
Here's your shot at romantic history.

Must be:
  • physically fit.
  • -mentally sound.
  • -over the age of 18.
  • -a dreamer.
  • -a believer.
  • -not afraid of heights.
  • -not afraid of extreme conditions such as speed, pressure, heat, etc.
  • -brave.
  • -no taller than 5'10 and relatively slim.
  • -good eye-sight & hearing.
  • -manual dexterity (although the craft is largely cpu controlled).
  • -OK in cramped conditions for long periods of time.
Location: Northern Alberta
Compensation: $25,000 CASH.
This is a contract job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

* Titan, is one of the moons of SATURN @@


My comments and Questions:

  1. When Do I get the cash, in advance, or after I land, and is it a money order or cashiers check?
  2. If I only get it when getting in the spacecraft, is it in gold, dollars, or Yen?
  3. If this is based on a secret design, how will I become famous? Will my exploits be published or shared with the outside world?
  4. Where do I sign up?
  5. How many years will pass between the time I leave, and when I arrive at Titan (and what is the relative time difference. As an explanation of this question:
  • If we go on a mission to Mars, it will take the astronauts six months of (normal, real) travel [for them] in each direction, and time (on Earth) will have moved forward THREE YEARS in that six months of 'relative' travel.

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