Sunday, May 14, 2006

HuMoR: my 48 questions for the NSA

This is HUMOR folks. If you are employed by a federal agency, please HIT your BACK bar NOW...

Thanks to Bosom Buddy, Tits, and Especially for Fritz, who gave me the idea to RE-do it to see if we can attract the attention of the NSA (Nutso-Securing America(for bush) department. Please see the note at the conclusion of this questionnaire.

1. First name? Omar Achmud Ben Osamma

2. Were you named after anyone? Omar Sharif

3. Do you wish on stars? Only if they're close enough to shoot
4. When did you last cry? When my brother was killed, 170 years ago
5. Do you like your handwriting? Absolutely, especially in Arabic
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Halal surprise
7. When is your birthday? July 4th. Funny, No?
8. What is your most embarrassing cd? Bringing the online version of , “The Idiot’s Guide to Bomb-Making from stuff around the house” to in my luggage to Kennedy Airport.
9. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Probably not. I'd think my accent was too strange.
10. Do you have a journal? Yes,
12. Would you bungee jump? Yes, off the Empire State Building with suitable backpack.
13. What is your favorite cereal? O-Samma O’s.
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Yes, unless I've attempted to light them on a previous flight, in which case I leave them on, because of the smell.
15. Do you think that you are strong? Achtung. Me est Strongest.
16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Pickled Jew in watermelon Sauce
17. Shoe Size? 9-11
18. Red or pink? Black only, please
19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? That I am unworthy to get my 70 virgins in real Life.
20. Who do you miss the most? my pet goat, Lucille.
21. Do you want everyone you send this to to send it back? To achmudkills,
22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Black

23. Last thing you ate? A Halal sheep-meat pie.
24. What are you listening to right now? Al-Arabia Radio
25. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Blood RED.
26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My father, Achmed Ben Esau,.

28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Is She Virgin? Will She Have me? Am I still Alive?
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. I like my enemies. I like them to go, “How you say?, Ah. CRAZY.”
30. Favorite Drink? “Virgin Spring”, Water
31. Favorite Sport? War-Driving in Bagdad
32. Hair Color? No thank you, Mine is Still real.
34. Do you wear contacts? No.
35. Favorite Food? Fallafel, made with Fava Beans, never Jewish Garbonzo Beans.
36. Last Movie You Watched? The Hijacking.
37. Favorite Day Of The Year? The Last day of Ramadan. I hate fasting.
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Nice Movies with Dead Jews.
39. Summer or winter? Winter. A Nice Cold Nuke-leah-ar Winter.
40. Hugs or Kisses? Yes. I want my virgins to all line up and do it at once.
41. Favorite dessert? NY Blackout/Destruction Cake
42. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Sept-11 Fotos.
43. What Did You Watch Last night on TV?
44. Favorite Smells? Jews Roasting over an Open Fire
45. Favorite Sounds? See above.
46. Stones or Beatles? Stone the Jews.
47. What's the furthest you've been from home? Atlantic City458. What books are you reading? The Qu’ran, The Virgin, Deathwatch.
49. What is your favorite position? Sitting Up, Reading about virgins and Suicide Bombers.
50. What do you want written on your headstone? Virgins Ready, Set, GO!

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